I don't mind walking outside by myself at night, though it is scary, and I love traveling by myself, I just can't afford to do it very often. I always thought that I was afraid of doing risky things but since I've been reading about ADD, and looking back at my life, I realized that I enjoyed my own form of risk.

What I'm really afraid of is new social experiences, even old ones, because I don't know what to do. I've realized that I never learned all the little social nuances that most people pick up as they grow up. Part of this probably ADD and part of this is because I never felt like I belonged since I never did belong anywhere while growing up.

I need to get out more and do more but I also got in the habit of not doing things since I also ended up with low level depression much of the time from fear of not being able to cope. Now I find myself often taking the easy way and just staying home. Sometimes it takes an effort to get up and go somewhere.

Once I'm out and about I enjoy myself. I know that I am very curious about how things are in places I've never been whether that is another town or another state or even just another building. I walk by buildings and wonder what they're like inside. I wonder what other people's workplaces are like and what the fancy rooms in a hotel are like and what's in the basement.

I wonder how other people behave in their homes. "Real life" TV shows don't interest me because I know they know the cameras are there which automatically skews how they behave. I wonder why people do what they do for a living and how they do it. I am always interested in all the different jobs there are in the world and at the people who do them.

I guess my "new things" is more a curiosity about and a whish to see what's going on in the world. I like just going places too but a lot of it is to see what's going on.