The walk to work was, again, very cold and clear. When I say cold I mean in the high 30s. I know that's not bad in much of the country, but here it's cold. Oh it felt so good! It's pitch black when I leave home but on the walk the sky to the east starts looking lighter than the sky to the west and by the time I get to work it's light though the sun still hasn't shown. On the mountains to the west you can see a faint glow showing the sun is on it's way.

I've been a little depressed tonight but that seems the case before every family type holiday. I think it's because we all want the perfect family but know it's not going to happen. We are so screwed by what "should be" that it's hard to appreciate what "is". I don't know anyone who has the perfect little family yet still have the belief that all over the US all these perfect little families are enjoying their perfect little holdays. It's a combination of Martha Stewart and Ozzie and Harriet, with the perfect harmony of the angels.

Why do we so readily believe in what we know isn't true? What hasn't ever been? Why do we let this crap about what a perfect family should be depress us? Why can't what we have be the perfect family. Once the holiday gets going I'm ok because I enjoy being around family, even if it's only my father, which is the case this year. I will admit that while we enjoy a good argument, we aren't a family that's hateful to each other like some I've heard about, so I do enjoy spending time with my family. It's the expectations of what I think it should be that are the killer.