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Monday, November 29, 1999



I'm sleepy. I didn't get to sleep till 4:00 AM on Saturday night and 1:00 AM last night. I'm not sure why. There wasn't any real reason. Now I'm sleepy but I want to wait till 10:00, which will be in 15 minutes, but in the meantime I just sit here and stare into space. I was ok during the day when I was working on several projects and kept moving. At home I slow down and I just want to sleep.

I cruised through a few forums and ate some supper but didn't get up the energy to do laundry, which I need to do, or even get around to writing my journal till now. I would find myself just staring at a tv program that I really didn't care about, so I decided to just start writing.

I did watch a program on tv last night that I loved. I finally saw the movie "Men in Black". It was so well done. A fun satire. I even caught myself checking out the tabloids at the grocery store this evening. I don't believe in the alien stories but I can understand the need to want there to be something more than ourselves.

This is the impulse behind all religions and ideologies. There are things that I don't know, for sure, are true, but I want them to be true and live my life based on these beliefs. I hope that I keep my beliefs to something that won't hurt people, but can I be sure?

I do enjoy glancing over the tabloids at the grocery store and, if the line is long, I'll even read an article or two. I just will not buy one. Because I won't buy them I sometimes wonder what a story was really about. There are worse things to keep as an unknown.




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© Rachel Aschmann 1999.
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